The elusive unicorn… If you are new to open relationships or polyamory you may never have heard this term other than in children’s stories. Here it refers to a person, often female, who wants to have sex with couples and in some cases date an existing couple. These women are called unicorns because they are rare, hard to find, and often scare off easily.
These women do exist, and they are not impossible to find. I know women who enjoy hooking up with couples. I myself am one of them. I have had several threesomes with couples over the years and enjoyed almost all of them. I would consider dating a couple if we all liked each outside of sex and had mutual interests.
I have met couples at parties who were clearly looking for women to hook up with and going about it completely wrong. For example, recently I met a guy who came up to me at a party, barely introduced himself and then asked if I was into women. I laughed and said I’m not sure then walked away.
And of course, there are the women on dating apps that seem to be looking to meet girls only for themselves and once you get chatting, they mention that they are planning for their boyfriend or husband to also be involved. Shockingly, they often don’t have a single picture of the boyfriend on their dating profile, nor do they mention him in the bio at all. And when you ask for pictures, he is usually much uglier than her.
Here are some tips on how to find a unicorn in real life:
- Don’t look for a unicorn in a conservative small town. They may exist there but are unlikely to come out of hiding for fear their neighbors, friends and family will find out. If you live in such a small town, drive to the closest big city, book a hotel for the weekend and go on dating apps there
- Approach outgoing bisexual women. Not straight women. And definitely NOT lesbians. The best threesomes happen when all 3 people are attracted to each other. A straight woman is not going to be as enthusiastic about getting sexual with another woman. A lesbian may be very attracted to the woman in the relationship but will be turned off by a naked man in the picture.
- The woman in the relationship should approach first. Chat up the woman you are interested in. Start with small talk and then compliment her. Be friendly but also flirty. If you are getting positive signals (good eye contact, giggling, and keeping a good conversation), say something like “Oh my gosh, you should meet my boyfriend! He tells that story way better! Or “He knows all the lines to that movie!” Then introduce her to your boyfriend and all 3 of you chat and see if you are having fun together. Be funny and lighthearted. Do not be creepy by making comments about her body right away! This serves 2 purposes.
- Meet up in a casual public setting such as a bar. Don’t invite a girl over to your home right away unless you are already friends with her.
- Alcohol (or other substances) help.. I’m not saying it’s impossible to have a threesome if everyone is sober but it is MUCH less likely if you are a bit drunk or high. At least the first time. I’ve never had a threesome while sober. It is so much easier to get wild and crazy when your inhibitions are lowered. If you don’t drink, or do drugs then you will have to have even better game.
Special tips for guys in a relationship:
- Do not pursue women for threesomes without your girlfriend’s permission. It will not end well.
- Do not ask your girlfriend to pursue her straight friends. Threesomes can result in jealous and ruined friendships. She may think you want to sleep with her friends while she is away.
- When your girlfriend is chatting up a girl, don’t stand in the corner and stare at them with a horny smile on your face. Go talk to other people at the party and pretend you aren’t too concerned with the outcomes of who your girlfriend is meeting.
- When your girlfriend introduces you to a girl, be friendly and confident. Not flirty – leave that to your girl. Your job is to not be creepy because this will drive the other girl away even if she likes your girlfriend! I can’t emphasize this enough.